Our Technology is Better

right?

I used to carry a tape recorder. It ran out of batteries. I was halfway through an interview when it happened. I was talking to Suzerain Melowin of Iswa. It’s a tiny island republic in the Mediterranean. He was explaining the subtleties of season fluctuations in the cardamom harvest and their impact on chronic rebellion in developing nations. I couldn’t tell my editor of my failure. Instead I wrote a story about how the Suzerain liked pancakes and had played soccer as a boy. Then I quit my job. I left no forwarding address.

I purchased a digital recorder. It holds 124 hours of audio. I can parse, cue, and reverse the audio by brain power, which, the salesman assured me, means I don’t have to break the context of my authoring application during transcribing. I thanked him. I still do not have batteries.

On the way home, I noticed the ravens on the highway. I don’t remember when there came to be so many ravens. They spilled into the sky like pepper scattered on a countertop. The sat on the arc of a telephone line like a row of charcoal buttons on a snowman’s chest. A man in a silver-blue pickup cut me off. I gave him thirty seconds of the horn and took the parkway home to cheat the traffic.

Gric

This has been blogged here before,but it deserves to be again: Gric.

ABC News: Congress Sends Bush $800B Debt-Limit Hike

ABC News: Congress Sends Bush $800B Debt-Limit Hike: "Congress sent President Bush an $800 billion boost in the federal borrowing limit on Thursday, spotlighting how the budget has lurched out of control in recent years and how hard it will be to afford future initiatives."

Wired News: Researchers: Florida Vote Fishy

Wired News: Researchers: Florida Vote Fishy

"Electronic voting machines in Florida may have awarded George W. Bush up to 260,000 more votes than he should have received, according to statistical analysis conducted by University of California, Berkeley graduate students and a professor, who released a study on Thursday. "

... which is 90,000 to few to give Kerry the state, mind you.

ShotgunGuide- Official Rules for Calling Shotgun

ShotgunGuide- Official Rules for Calling Shotgun

"Early calls are strictly prohibited. All occupants of the vehicle (including the driver) must be outside of the building and directly on the way to the vehicle before shotgun may be called. Under no circumstances may a person call shotgun inside a building. For sake of simplicity, a garage is considered to be outside. Parking structures and detached garages are always considered as being outdoors, even if they are underground."

FinallY!

BBC NEWS | Europe | New claim on location of Atlantis

New claim on location of Atlantis

American researchers claim to have found convincing evidence that locates the site of the lost kingdom of Atlantis off the coast of Cyprus.

Then again, maybe its here,

Or here.

Then again, maybe its here.

"We should have had trained observers - computer scientists, not lawyers!"

Confessions Of An Unwitting Accessory

Could we have been so naive? Thousands of the country's most credentialed lawyers flocked to Florida to guarantee a fair election. Did we inadvertently miss an election debacle even greater than that of 2000 and negligently allow our client to concede?

The electronic voting story has been making sustained noise for over a year now. So why is it that nobody gets it? Electronic voting isn't a legal story, it's not a politics story, and it's not a conspiracy theory story. Electronic voting is an IT story. Legal teams and political pundits have a hard time figuring out how to frame the electronic voting issue. The reason is that they don't have the right tools. But when you look at at electronic voting as an IT story, as Robert X. Cringely did back in March (blogged here), things start to make sense.

When you try to tackle IT problems from a non-IT point of view, the IT plan fails and the business goes down in flames. It happens all the time. This is because IT's purpose is to support other endeavors, be they on the legal, political, or business side. When those segments try to tell IT how to solve IT problems, the result is always a poor solution. Let's take an example: transparency. The correct way to acheive transparency is to set transparency as your requirement and let good IT minds go to work on the problem. The way NOT to get transparency in electronic voting is to figure out a legal, political, or business method of acheiving it and then impose that method on IT. The reson for this is that legal minds aren't suited to solving IT problems.

Let's take this to another level. What's Deibold's job in all this? Isn't it their job to make a good votin system? No, it's not. Their job is to make money. That's what companies and contractors do. If you let Diebold set the requirements, you'll ge the requriements that make them the most money. Those won't be the requirements that serve the voter best. For Diebold, electronic voting is a business problem. It's a matter of putting together a bid for a government contract that will make them money.

If you ask me, the solution is to scrap electronic voting altogether, but that's not practical. Even if we get rid of voting machines, or all decide to vote absentee (as my family does), we'll still end up using computers to do the counting. So what we really need to do is to get some good computer science minds on the problem and propose a solution that everyone involved can take a good, long hard look at.

It's Retractable

Technology lets us apply new adjectives to things. We say words like 'disposable', 'extensible', 'improved' in ways we never have before. You're house? pre-fab. Your dinner? freeze dried. And your soul?

Cyril had been old. He had been forced to wait 18 months for his new body, but it was worth it. Under the counter-rotating armillary spheres of Ouroboros Station, he walked the pillars of the Avnux Mall, beaming his consciousness to the racks of fine clothes, produce arks, manufactuary dispensers, breath mints, newfax uploads, electronica boutiques, music cubes, sensorial theatres, balck box connectors, stamps, toys, and books, basking in the beam back of smells, tastes, textures, and snatches of song. The Mall caressed him as only a new (and rather wealth) customer might be caressed. His toes tingled in anticipation as only a young man’s toes can. He was tempted to giggle.

Then violently, shockingly, it all began to collapse. Like icicles falling away from the eaves when spring has warmed the rooftops, a thousand impressions collapsed to a point that lingered, then went out.

The Medicap surveyed the carnage. “Poor sod,” he said to the neurotechs. “He probably never knew what hit him. What a waste.” He had seen many accidents. The tangle of cargo ferrier, limbs, and flesh barely moved him.

“Should we start?” one of the techs asked.

“Yeah, we don’t want to wait for full neural death, or there’ll be hell to pay.”

The tech jacked the retractor into the remains of the man’s spine. “Looks a good ninety percent,” he intoned.

“Yep,” the cap agreed, “guy’ll have a new body in a year or two I reckon. Must be nice to be able to afford a renewal contract. Maybe next time he’ll look before he crosses the track.”

The tech shook his head. “Resurrection is wasted on the rich.”

Amazon.com: Books: Critical Theory Since Plato

Thanks to my loving wife for getting me the incredibly geeky early Christmas present: Hazard Adams' Critical Theory Since Plato.

Falluja

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Eyewitness: Smoke and corpses

What if Pirates Ruled the World

Arrrrrrrh!

Before First Use

In Science Fiction, even more than in life, it is very, very important to follow the instructions. Good luck!

Clean hands before first use.
Do not use near open flame.
Removal of cover plate voids warranty.
Edges are sharp.
Know your own mind.
Operational limit is 755ov.
5 cent deposit in MI, RI.
Inhibitor mesh superstructure sold separately.
Manufacturer takes no responsibility for injury suffered due to misues.
Approach from the side.
Cease your cowering.
Your nation is counting on you.
Adjust lumbar support until back is erect and comfortable.
Do not shed any more tears.
Go.

No, not that Hole

Uh... yeah. Sometimes when you sit down to write, something wonderful spring full bore onto the page. It was like that with Conch Shell. Sometimes, you get rather less coherent material. That's what happened this time. This one might also be titled Christopher Weird, Surrealist Detective.

It was a good night to spend curled up with a revolver and a fifth of cheap whiskey – then she slithered in. “I’ve been having some doubts,” she explained.

“I get paid to hear that kind of excuse,” I retorted.

“I should’ve known, a man like you…”

“Like who! Spill it sparkles!”

“I can’t help it,” she burbled, “cephalopods like me aren’t supposed to fall for guys like you.”

“I know it,” I admitted, “but that don’t stop it from happening.”

She was my kind of gal, and I’ve learned to be cautious in those situations. I had a few things to say, but my eyes were wandering off down the hall, through the elevator shaft and under the door of the Dentist’s office upstairs from me. Nothing like an eyeful of molar decay to make you lose your tongue. “Fifty up front,” I said, “and a sturgeon if, and I do mean IF, we find your brother.”

You are all Freaks

Avoid the blue pill
The truth is rather painful
All of us are freaks

Experience

On Saturday, I went down to see the Experience Science Fiction museum. I went down right after breakfast. I'd sort of been planning it all week. What I'd do would be that on a day when work got quiet, I'd take a half day off and soak up some scifi. I'd had writer's block all month long.

But work was busy, and I didn't get around to it until Sunday. And I wasn't sure it was going to do any good anyway. I was in a funk, and I wasn't sure that looking at a bunch of Star Trek props was going to do it for me.

In the front door, the first things I saw was a stack of paper. It was a manuscript, for Neal Stepheson's latest, or something like that. I was about three and a half feet high. There were a bunch of empty pen cartridges next to it - the ones he'd used up writing it, I suppose. When I saw that, I thought "yeah, I can do this."

MSNBC - How Bush Did It

MSNBC - How Bush Did It

"In the winter of 2003-04, Jenna Bush, one of president Bush's 22-year-old twin daughters, dreamed that her father lost the election. Jenna had never before shown any interest in politics or much desire to get involved in her father's campaigns. But now she, along with her sister, Barbara, volunteered to help their father get re-elected. The president was overjoyed to have the girls on the campaign bus, recalled his wife, Laura. His mood lightened, to the relief of his handlers, who had been anxiously discussing their candidate's surliness and impatience."

Newsweek has an incredible and in-depth analysis of what went on in the campaign, from beginning to end, on both sides. The article is huge, but it's well worth the read.

Foreign Policy

And as the twinkling lights of the mindsphere rose over a secluded clearing in the New Jersey woods, Cole Hughes said to the half-dozen gathered there: “Today we have witnessed the birth of a new intelligence. I wonder if we shall meet them again, some day.”

At that moment, a black gloved hand shoved Hughes roughly to the ground. “Everybody! Down on the ground! Now!” There were guns everywhere, and soldiers in night vision goggles and black body armor. A girl screamed.

The colonel looked down at Hughes’ prone figure, bleeding from a cut above his eye. “You stupid fool, Hughes. What are you, a hippie? Don’t you know we’re going to go out there some day? And the last thing we need is another unknown in the equation.”

“They came in peace,” Hughes croaked.

“And you think that’s guaranteed to last? Haven’t you ever studied foreign policy?”

How it is that we have come to Invade Iraq

In Use for Ages

Since John P saw fit to suggest not just one but fifteen phrases for story inspirations, I've decided to write all fifteen stories. Eight are already written (but not typed in yet). Up, up and away!

The colonists of Sidolonus IV remember vanished Earth as best they can. In this exhibit, for example, one may enjoy an honored Earth ritual. See! The well-lit, clean surroundings invite you. The smiling attendant awaits your order. Your meal is delivered directly to you within moments. The helpful signage directs you to a private booth where you survey your authentic hamburger with interest. When a respectful span of time has passed, another attendant comes and collects your hamburger for the next customer. For this is the only one of its kind on Sidolonus, brought from vanished Earth and preserved. You may, however, keep the commemorative tray stamped “Ten billion served.” Ten billion and one.

Cute Little Kittens

look! cute little kittens! blogjam random kitten generator

Welcome to Gethsemani Farms

Welcome to Gethsemani Farms

This is not an ad. I've never tasted Trappist cheese or Trappist fudge.... but I want to.

Critics, authors chafe as more celebrities join ranks of children's authors

Critics, authors chafe as more celebrities join ranks of children's authors


From the article:

Jane Yolen, a prize-winning children's book author, contends that "celebrity children's books eat up all the available oxygen ... I have over 250 books out, have won a great number of awards within the field, have been given four honorary doctorates for my body of work, but have never been on 'Oprah' or spoken to Katie Couric or gotten a $100,000 advance for my work.

"I am not complaining. I do very well by the ordinary parameters of the field. But I have been thinking about getting out my pointy bra and brushing up on my singing and dancing because there's no good pop music out there. And because -- you know -- if it's celebrity they want ...''

Bupkes

A steel pole with a few square feet of chain link clinging to it on the bottom edge of an empty parking lot. A tight wad of yellow plastic tangled in it – a bit of police tape or a shopping bag I can’t guess.
“There,” he said, gesturing urgently.
“A pole?”
“No, look closer, here, between.”
“Between the post and this bit of, of whatever it is?”
“Yes.”
“There’s nothing there. It’s just a gap.”
“Yes,” he said, as though this were profound news. “A gap. And the wind blows through it. And the post sings. Nothing else; no purpose, no meaning, just a gap.”
“I can see through it.” There was a sort of a deep bowl on the other side, a construction site for an onramp of the interstate. A large orange truck was moving through it. The man didn’t say anything. I was left to suppose his silence carried some message of its own.

BIROCO.COM ~ My blog on a par with flylady dot net, apparently

BIROCO.COM ~ My blog on a par with flylady dot net, apparently

-CBS News | Should Democrats Get Religion? | November 4, 2004?11:11:13

CBS News | Should Democrats Get Religion? | November 4, 200411:11:13

"Congressman Dick Gephardt, D-Mo., a former presidential candidate, told the New York Times that Democrats had failed 'to speak to our faith, and to relate to people that we share their faith.' "

the prediction

Kerry by 3 pts.